i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
