i just sent this text using only my big toe
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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