I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
