no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize