The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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