Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
