I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
4 words: hood of his car
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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