I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
