i permit you to call me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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