Whod you bang
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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