don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
