cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When are your genitals available?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
