Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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