it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
