oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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