Whod you bang
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
