i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
