Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
