Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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