Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
