you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
