i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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