No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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