He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
