I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
