Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
