oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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