Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
