This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
