So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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