Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
