If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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