he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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