he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize