I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Houston, we have a squirter
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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