Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
