okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
