so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
