Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
