No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
