Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
