You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
