Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize