Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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