Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
