she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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