and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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