i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Be still, my beating vagina.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
