no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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