Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
