You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
