Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
