it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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