She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
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