you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
then he tried to convert me to islam
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
