u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
