I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
