i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
