I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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