i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
