so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
there is puke in my bra ... again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
