Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
