If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize